Confusion

Here I am again, completely outside my comfort zone and blogging again. I may well be quite mad, but at least I am comfortable with it, which is more than I feel using this medium.

My heater is at full blast on my sore back and that is rather bliss. :-)

I spend  my life trying to understand other people and what motivates them and makes them who they are. I haven't remotely worked it out yet, but it forever interests me.

I am terribly interested in the psychology of others, but sometimes when you look at it , it is quite scary. However, I will continue with my interest in how people "Are", and I will never feel threatened by others, as they feel they have the power to do it, and the internet is a perfect medium for them to perform.

Actually, what I do feel is just sad souls who have been hurt and fight back in anger ; this bothers me a lot, and my heart wants to help all, but sometimes they have to help themselves.

I am being ambiguous ( I spelt that correctly all on my own), and anything I do write comes completely from me, and the computer has no influence on anything I write.

I called this post "Confusion" but as usual, it was not a great title, but you have to think up something initially, and it generally works for my life. :-)

I should have called it "Psychology" , but  rather I would have invited those too difficult to handle, so will stick with  "Confusion".

Somebody very lovely, was quite right in saying that others do not have the right to bully you, and I suspect this soul is stronger than me and I truly admire this person.

To live a life of fear through someone else, no matter who, is very wrong on all levels of everything.

It is especially wrong when threatened by a complete stranger, and I will always be me and not fear such threats.

Well as usual, I am saying exactly what I feel as this is the real me, and Mr Bully, of the internet, may you please melt into something kind and good.

I feel ok to write what I want and if it offends, don't read it.

Friends

There is little more precious in this life than a good friend and they come in many forms.My childhood ones are still with me forty five years on, and we still meet up and act like the children we once were.

However, friendship extends to a much further level and I have met some "Beauties" on twitter. The internet allows you to connect with people you would not normally realise existed, and although you don't know them in person, you are actually talking to that being, and I personally think this is wonderful.If it was not for this medium, I would not have met my lovely friend @KarensPix.; she is a true friend.

I hope one day, to meet some more of the people I chat too, and am sure I will ;  it isn't all an illusion. :-).

Recently I have talked to a very lovely person, whom I feel I know anyway and I must say, that although I have not met the person in question, this is a very precious friendship, and that is exactly what it is. What a delightfully lovely being, who has become my friend. :-))

Perhaps this will not make sense, but you can even befriend a teddy bear. :-) :D

Peace

What a lovely word this is: touches the soul of all of us, as who would not want it?

We live in such a busy world, that we barely take time to be, at all, and this isn't really what it should all be about. Ideally, we should be productive and 'follow our hearts', yet have some form of relaxation in between ; however, life rarely allows this to happen. Always there are responsibilities , a normal part of everyone's lives, which should be 'honoured' and dealt with, however, there is also your own 'soul' and 'persona' to be considered.

My dear mother always has told me that "if you spread your self to thin", (no idea where that expression comes from?), then you won't be able to help anyone". I'm not entirely sure that I agree but there is a point there that has some truth. I rather would like to argue, that even if you pass on just a little bit of your heart, then you have hopefully done something positive ; on saying that, there is nobody kinder than my mother as she has a "heart of gold".- good cliché.

To get to the point that I am always so slow to reach, for now, I do feel peaceful. I have my cats, my fire and I am writing a load of 'rubbish', but it is making me feel good, so can't in my opinion be a bad thing.

In my far,distant past, in my days of depression, I desperately searched for peace and could not find it anywhere. I tried to do everything to help myself, took lots of advice, got so muddled up with all of it, then one day, helped by my friend, I realised I just had to be myself , and there lay the road to happiness.

That is the only way anyone can find inner peace- just be who you actually are. :-).

Depression

Tonight on twitter, I talked to two new people on the subject of depression and one is male and one female ; I can only estimate their ages but there is yet again this common factor of "pain".

I still believe that the most wonderful therapy possible is to be able to talk and express and it will help more than anything else can. Unfortunately, the subject of depression, in all it's forms is as "taboo" today as it ever was, which is sad and most terribly wrong.

I received a sarcastic comment from a follower, and many would have unfollowed, but I suspect this person is not so different from the rest of us, and many people suffer episodes of this "Pain" in different ways, but it really does amount to the same feeling.

Most people want "light-hearted" chat and fun and who would not ? ; but depression is a very real part of life which afflicts so many, and it is terribly wrong to ignore it; it can kill.

I write my blogs, not from a literary point point of view, but merely from a caring one, and I do care, deeply.

I always wanted to write a book on this subject but was aware I neither had the skills or knowledge to do so, but I am much obliged to the computer I never wanted to use for the opportunity to "say what I wish to do so" and nobody needs to listen or comment if not interested.

My depression, and as I no longer suffer, was caused by rampant hormones and there were probably other issues too as it really is very, very complicated  but that really was my main problem. I became very "fed up" to say the least by being misdiagnosed by the medical profession, wrongly, and it affected a very large part of my life.

However, this is merely my personal experience and it is different in every case of depression. In the end , it doesn't matter what works as long as it does and even depression is self limiting. ; it will move, even if it returns and I am "living proof" of it not returning.

However, I can merely point out what did help me through my very "dark" times. By far was the love and support that I received from my mum, and also from my brothers and friends. That was more important than anything. I had, and still do have, a very beautiful little girl, who I would never give up on, so it really is worth the fight to survive.

In my bad moments, I found certain things helped more than others. I didn't get much help from the prescription drugs but many people benefit greatly. We are all individuals and what helps one person, may not be the best treatment for another. I will say, since my problem was hormonal, there was little likelihood  that anti-depressants were actually going to make a difference but I will say that I was given an M.A.O which did help. That was the last possibility and I am not a fan of drugs.

What helped me most at the time was acupuncture, herbs and essential oils. Not a "cure all" as nothing is but they worked much better for me than anything else did.

However, talking and caring is probably the best therapy ever.

If I "blabber" on and others do not like what I write, that is up to them. I write on something so important, it should never be ignored.