Nerves

Being nervous is a very unpleasant feeling and I suspect most of us have felt this at some point of our lives. It  can make you feel sick, not sleep and become very anxious.

This is an entirely natural way to be, and it is only when you can conquer your own fears and just 'do' what you really feel in your heart that anything begins to change.

I do not write in accepted language at times, but I do try to use English as a way to express what I want to say, and hopefully I do it well enough.

As a young girl, I used to feel absolutely awful in front of any sort of audience and in some ways, it has ruined some of my very childish dreams. It can take so little really to completely destroy your confidence.

However, this is not about me, though that experience, and a couple of others, has actually given me the confidence to encourage others.

I am a great believer in 'change', no matter how difficult it is, if you know in your heart it will make you happier. It is never easy, and now my title does come in to it's own as I can't imagine anything which would make you more nervous, however, I would still rather cope with any consequences of  'change' than ever again be under the control of anyone who ever forced me to perform.

I found the confidence as an adult to make my own decisions, at times against adversity, but my heart knew what was right. not all of it was easy, but never once have I doubted  the path I now walk.

Always in my 'self'', those old doubts will linger, and it has destroyed my musical confidence, but I am still "me" and it may come back.

Well yet again, I am inaccurate, as this has been actually totally about me. It is always interesting trying to use the medium of a computer with a cat's tail hanging over the screen. :-)

It is actually really hard to write about  confidence , or lack of it in others, as I am quite comfortable with the fact that I can speak openly about my feelings, but I have totally realised that many people cannot.

I find this an extremely odd way to write, to space things in a certain way, it blocks natural expression. However, if I was to truly write down what I really want to say, nobody would be able to read it as my hand writing is not very legible.

Well, back to 'nerves', or nervousness in any given situation. It really all depends on what you want, and what makes you happy. All people, ever in the public eye will feel this, it merely depends on whether you want this or not; I rather think I do not, but for those "Naturals", I would suggest, just do it. :-)

I will stay in the background and one day I might play a piano behind a curtain, like "the Wizard of
Oz." I could paint the scenery too. :D